*Honduras 18 Business Team @ The U.S. Embassy*
It's the last night in Zarabanda, our original training site, and it's raining. I can feel it sprinkling down from the shoddy ceiling. It seems appropriate. I'm officially a Peace Corps Volunteer; I should be elated right now. After all of the application, anticipation, and training I've finally arrived. I've made tons of friends, seen different parts of Honduras, improved my Spanish, and now what? I haven't even started.
It's an exciting journey. But yet, I'm not excited. Not right now, anyway. While it's the beginning of something great, it's also the end of something great. The end of English, the end of American friends, the end of familiarity however brief it might have been. It's the end of several relationships, the good ones, and also the bad ones, or at least a drastic change in them. No more friends to hug when I'm feeling down. No more friendly language teachers always around. No more helpful staff to guide me and encourage me.
I'm reminded again of El Ritmo de Cambio - the title to my blog. Change has come again. It always has a way of finding me. It's inevitable; it comes and goes when it pleases. Me, however, I'm on a schedule of constant change.
And now I'm here. In a little town called Subirana. In the middle of nowhere. Put here to accomplish something. 'What will you do?' someone's already asked me. 'I don't know' is the only response I have right now. There's a lot of things I don't know. I just finished 3 months of training; I feel like I should know something. So what happens next? I'm nervous; feeling excited about starting the next two years, but at the same time feeling sad and reminiscent about the past three months.
Onward and upward, I tell myself. I visited the coffee finca already, and the other plot of land that will slowly become another finca. I had fresh cream with my frijoles, it comes from the cows they milk everyday. My family also makes cheese, which no one sells in this town. I've met the family, one of whom married a Swiss tourist some years ago and they are the only English-speaking people in my town. I was ready to eliminate English from my vocabulary, but thank God there is always that possibility. I think they might become my best friends, not just because of the English, but because they've also experienced drastic changes in culture and language.
Final notes:
The electroducha (shower-water-heater-upper-thing) was bad intel. Day 81 of cold showers or bucket baths. But that's a small thing, I'm just glad I finally have indoor plumbing. I've had indoor DIY bathrooms, and I've had outdoor plumbing. Now I have my own bathroom with running water whenever I want, and there's not even a bucket in sight! Plus I had some amazing coffee for breakfast that actually tasted like coffee. Now to get to it before the sugar goes in. I need to look up the word for 'bitter' again. I've had several conversations about coffee, and I will undoubtedly have several more. However, I highly doubt I'll get tired of talking about it. I'm also not sure how I should feel about the "workers" cleaning my room and doing all of my laundry. I feel like I should feel guilty for some reason, but I absolutely love it. I remember in Guatemala, the maid didn't even talk to me or look at me. But these people are more like family, so for the meanwhile I am living life on a cloud. I took about 6 steps up the socio-economic ladder by moving to this poor, small pueblo. Interesting.
If anyone else is going through drastic change, or maybe you're just wondering if that change will ever come, I assure you, and myself, of two things: Change will come. You will survive. Think of me when you drink your coffee, and enjoy today.
Sounds like God is going to have some fun with you! :)
ReplyDeleteI haven't heard from you in a while, but reading your blog keeps me up to date, and I'd rather you talk to mom with whatever time you have. Though it is nice to hear how things are going and to encourage each other. I'll try and get an email to you soon.
I'm looking forward to seeing you at Christmas, even though it's so far away. But I know it will come much sooner than I think.
"You are the light of the world - like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden." - Matthew 5:14
This is the first of your blog posts that I have had the chance to read. It's so neat to see where you are in your life. Even though it's a scary unknown right now, and perhaps more change than you really want to experience all at once, try to see the beauty of this opportunity. God has trusted you with a skill set that not everyone gets to have, and he has placed you here for a reason. You have Him on your team, so nothing is impossible!
ReplyDeleteTry to think of the fact that you are able to do what many of us can't even imagine doing. You are establishing relationships with God's people around the world, while doing meaningful work (you'll figure out the "what-to-do" later). Thank God for the chance to do what you are doing, and seek his wisdom and guidance. The rest will fall into place.
I am encouraged by your honesty and how you are not afraid to admit you are not as excited as you "should be" or as much as we all might think you would be. You are in it, we are not :-)
Rest in Him. You will do fine!
Proud to know you :-)
Blessings, Gracelyn
Okay, after talking to you today, I just have to laugh at your comment, "Now I have my own bathroom with running water whenever I want..." You must mean, whenever possible. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of you - who you are and what you're doing. You are a blessing to me, and to the people of Honduras.
Love you!
~mom